


Saudade

by CreatorsVoid



Category: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Cartoon 2018), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Donnie is hurt and sad, FUCK OFF TCEST, Gen, Mentions of Possible Character Death, Mentions of War, TCEST DNI, War AU, death mention, hehe, no happy ending, suffer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 13:26:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29402655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CreatorsVoid/pseuds/CreatorsVoid
Summary: Ouch....hope y'all liked this sldkdkskdkSorry that it was short, I'm not that great of a writer so I struggle a whole lot djfjsjdks
Kudos: 16





	Saudade

_How long has it been?_ Donnie thought.

His brow quivered in the question. He shook his head to get rid of the question in thought. He can't think about him. Not right now. Donnie's hand trembled as he stuck the screw in its hole. He then reached over to his screwdriver to fasten it. All while trying to keep his hand from trembling. He bit his lip in frustration. He leaned back after he secured the screws into his latest invention. Donnie stared at the object with a look of frustration. This was not coming out as planned. He had meant to make another good update for Sheldon. However, it was not coming out well. He gritted his teeth as he looked back to the blueprint. That said blueprint was covered in his scribbles, and to his disbelief, he had realized that he had misread the blueprint. He had completely messed up his invention. 

In anger, he abruptly got up and walked swiftly to his bed. His eyes glanced at his digital clock and realized that it was past midnight. His eyes widened in the realization that he had missed dinner with his family. Knowing this, he looked back to his locked door. He quickly walked over to his door and threw it open. The rest of the lair was dark, telling Donnie that everyone was in bed. His mouth fell into a frown. He looked down and instantly noticed a box with the _Run of the Mill Pizza_ logo imprinted on it. He internally cringed knowing that he disappointed his family by not showing up to eat with them. He sighed as he leaned down to pick up the box. He lifted the lid and found 4 cold pepperoni pizza slices. Guilt gnawed the pits of his stomach as his mind imagined the disappointed looks of his two brothers and father. Donnie bit his lip. His two remaining brothers. How could he have left them like this? During these times especially. That's when Donnie finally let his mind wander to the subject he had been avoiding. 

_How long has it been?_ Donnie asked himself again. Donnie bit down on his lip even more. The pain he felt was somewhat comforting compared to the pain he felt over the months _he_ was gone. The metallic taste of blood flooded into his mouth. How long has he been gone? Donnie finally mustered the courage to let that name spill out of his mind and mouth.

"Raph…" his voice was hoarse from the lack of usage. He didn't care though. His mind locked on that name. 

Raph. Raphael. His older brother. How long has he been gone? That question protruded his mind once more. He refused to acknowledge the question. He only focused on his brother. Raph… where is he? He bit down harder, realizing how stupid that question was. He thought back on the last days his older brother was at home. He distantly remembers Raph promising that he'll be back unscathed. He remembers the pain he felt knowing how much of a bullshit lie that was. His mind wandered back further on the days they found out about the war. He remembered that exact morning they all found out.

Everyone was at breakfast eating together as a family. Splinter then comes in with a newspaper article. There in bold letters said, " _Human race declares war on Yokai."_ Everyone was shocked. They never thought that humans hated them that much. A nervous tension then fills the room when Splinter read out loud that each side will be drafting soldiers. The age requirement was 18. It then hit everyone like a ton of bricks with the realization that Raph had just turned 18. No one mentioned it though. It was an eerie silent agreement that no one should speak of the elephant in the room. Then further came weeks of nerve-wracking anxiety knowing that the inevitable could happen. Their fears were confirmed a month later when they received a letter stating that Raph was old enough to be drafted into the yokai military. 

Donnie internally cringed in pain as he remembered the intense breakdown his family went through finding out that the red-banded turtle was drafted to be in the yokai military. Ralph spent a long time curled up next to his father while sobbing and begging for Splinter to do something about the horrid situation. He ragged voice begging that he did not want to die. That he did not want to kill or hurt anyone. That he was scared. At that moment everyone truly realized how young Raph truly was. Underneath all that muscle and tough-guy mask, lay a child. One that was afraid. One that did not want to leave his family. Some would say that Raph was too old to be thinking and acting like a child. But honestly, anyone would be terrified at the idea of being dragged into war. 

That was proven true days later when April contacted the turtles in tears of the news that she was drafted as well. For some unknown reason, she had registered to Selective Service for the military a year earlier but didn't think that there was going to be a war so soon. She had just turned 19 so she was old enough to be in the military. The turtles were devastated to find out that their human friend was heading off to war. It soon dawned on everyone the fact that April was being drafted into the _human_ military. All while Raph was getting drafted to the Yokai Military. They were soon going to be enemies in the front line of war….

Donnie's vision was blurred as he felt something warm dripping down his cheeks. He had realized that he was crying. He didn't care anymore. He was too exhausted to care. He stood there in the doorway of his room with a cold pizza box in his hand all while crying. Donnie couldn't care less. 

_How long has it been?_ More tears cascaded down his cheeks as the softshell turtle let out a strangled whimper. The first hiccup erupted out of him and soon he was silently sobbing outside of his door at 2 am with a cold pizza box in his hand. He wondered how his brother was at the moment. He's probably scared. Maybe he wasn't? Donnie couldn't be sure. Where is he right now? Well, he is obviously at the war front lines. Maybe he is sleeping right now. Or not. Like how Donnie is. Is Raph eating enough? Is he sleeping enough? God, Donnie is so fucking worried for his brother. And what about April? Oh, God. She's only a human. Can she and other humans even withstand the mystic magic attacks the Yokai throw? April hadn't contacted the brothers in months. Oh, stars above. What if she was...dead? 

Donnie's eyes widened. Oh God, Raph hadn't contacted them in months either….what if he was dead too?? Donnie's breathing was getting faster at the possibility that his brother and friend could no longer be with them. A sob escaped his throat as his grip tightened on the box, almost crushing it. 

Donnie soon became a sobbing mess, while standing in the semi-dark while holding a cold pizza box.

 _How long has it been?_ Donnie gritted his teeth.

"It's been 17 months!!" He cried out as more and more tears cascaded down his cheeks. His body shook as he let out soft wracked sobs. At this moment, Donnie realized how truly alone he felt without his older brother. 

**Author's Note:**

> Ouch....hope y'all liked this sldkdkskdk  
> Sorry that it was short, I'm not that great of a writer so I struggle a whole lot djfjsjdks


End file.
